Recruitment
by Kurogane7
Summary: My take on how each member of Team Fortress was hired...rated M for safety.
1. Burning Heart

_**A/N: I had a rush of inspiration from a deviant from deviantArt, and decided to do a series of drabbles on how each member of Team Fortress was hired in the first place for a total of nine or ten chapters. Let it be known that on this chapter, I will take no trolling…I will take discussions, but absolutely no trolls allowed. If I read of any trolling, then please refer to Ezekiel 25:17 in your bible (not the "Pulp Fiction" line, the actual verse). Other than that, do read and review would you kindly?**_

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><p>Beijing, China…<p>

The Beijing Women's Correctional Facility was filled with so many women cursing…and several of them for good reason; they were most definitely not happy with the fact that they were interred with a certified pyromaniac. Said pyromaniac was being brought out of solitary confinement to meet with one Rachel Helfer…her employer was looking for mercenaries and maniacs to work for her clients, and by far, this was one of the craziest people of all. Rachel simply sat down and read the dossier on her target…hmm, very interesting indeed. Were it not for the fact that this woman liked to burn things down, she would've enjoyed this woman's company; maybe even a spot of tea would do the poor girl some good…

Before long, she heard the door opening and in walked a hulking prison guard of questionable gender, and behind her was a girl no older than 21 years of age with a straightjacket on, as well as a muzzle on her face. She had a wild look in her hazel-coloured eyes that made her both scary and beautiful, and she had a tattoo of an orchid on her face over her right eye. Overall, she looked dainty and not at all capable of what she did in that dossier…but Rachel knew that looks could be deceiving, and given that girl's history, that was proof enough. When the prison guard was finished chaining the prisoner to the seat and removing the muzzle from her mouth, she finally had a look at her mark's face. Beautiful…such a beautiful face she had seen…it was a shame that a face such as hers would likely have to be hidden from the world. Ah well, to business now; she'll have plenty of time for her bisexual fantasies later…

"Ni hui bu hui shuo yingwen?"

The younger woman looked at her with surprise in her eyes. The shock was very evident in the rudeness of her tone. "Wo hui shuo yingwen…ni weishenme wen wo?"

"No reason, just to see if I can make it more convenient for myself."

The wild look in the younger woman's eyes returned. Oh it just turned her on with that fire of defiance in her eyes…fitting given her name. As she spoke, she had a thick accent. "If you're here to laugh at the crazy woman, then you're out of luck; I'm in no mood to be mocked in any shape or form today."

Rachel said nothing. She simply pulled out the dossier, and started reading. "Your name is Huo Mulan am I correct?" The younger woman simply continued looking on at her with a silent 'so what?' being emitted from those fiery eyes…oh she'll have a chance to douse out that fire soon enough. "It says here you're 19 years old…now that in my opinion is too young to be in jail. Apparently, it's this defiance I'm seeing in you that made it so that you were named after the heroine in that poem; and because of that defiance, your record seems to be very impressive…straight A's, captain of the girl's Tai-Chi club specializing in the staff, and apparently you held a job as a gardener up until a while ago. It was discovered that you were listening to American rock-and-roll and pretending to play on the electric guitar when several of your classmates decided to tattle on you and blowing the story out of proportion. After that little scandal, you were made an outcast and were disowned by your parents, and so in revenge, you improvised a flamethrower, and set those classmates' houses on fire. You were not caught until you set fire to the last classmate's house which was almost two weeks ago. Bravo."

The un-amused look Mulan's face was very clear, as was that attitude in her voice. "I highly doubt you came here to recite ancient history with me, so why don't you get to the point and tell me what you want already?"

"You seem to like rock-and-roll…almost as much as you like fire it seems…what if I could tell you that in addition to freedom, you'll also get a job, and nobody will hurt you just because of your passions."

The fire seemed to die down a bit, and was replaced with a look of curiosity and interest…until it changed into the look of suspicion and thought. "What's the catch?"

"Smart girl…you studied well. The catch is that in addition to your freedom, you will be working in a job where you will be required to kill. You will be paid however…and you will be granted citizenship in America."

"And how do you know I don't like it there in solitary confinement?"

"You may not know it, but you are scheduled to be on death row."

Mulan looked at her potential recruiter with a look of outright surprise on her face. "So you didn't know? I suppose it's typical of the communists…they never seem to tell anybody anything until it's too late."

The look of fear had glazed over Mulan's eyes…she was going to be executed? Did she want to die? How did she know that this blonde bimbo wasn't lying to her? "You're bluffing…there's no way that that's possible."

"Is it? You and I both know how corrupt people in power tend to be in a communist regime. Who's to say that I'm lying?"

She thought it over and over…Mulan was not one to be walking into something she knew she wouldn't get out of. No, she made sure to outweigh the consequences out of what she knew…after all, it was Sun Tzu who said "know yourself and your enemy, and you need not fear the outcome of a thousand battles"—it would appear however, that she didn't have much of a choice. As much as she didn't want to be a bitch to that woman and her organization, she also had to think of how to get out of this mess. With that on mind, her answer was clear; "Get me out of here, and I'll kill whoever you want."

"Done; we'll get everything ready for you. In the meantime, would you mind keeping your head down? It'll be hard to get you out of here when someone is as…active as you are." With that, Rachel got up and turned to leave after picking up her dossier. The mobile she was given was just itching to be turned on. Her boss would be pleased…as a matter of fact, why not call that chain-smoking old whore now? The second that Rachel was a few steps outside of the correctional facility, she picked up the big, blocky phone from her purse, and dialled the number.

"Who is this?"

"Helen, it's me. We're going to need a sizable amount of money, some legal documents, and a good amount of plastic explosives with remote detonators."

"We've managed to get her did we?"

"Yep. We got her."

"You always were good at bluffing…that's why Ms. Pauling I never play poker or even chess with you. Ironically, that's why I also hired you. Anyway, I've forwarded the money to your account to buy all that you need. Make sure the job gets done."

"Yes ma'am."

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><p>Dustbowl Locker Rooms, unknown date and time…<p>

Mulan stood around in the locker. The others didn't know it, but she was always the first one in the locker, and for good reason; she was the only woman in her nine-man team (the roster of the other members was a literal sausage fest, as the Americans put it). So far, the only ones who knew her true identity were the crazy doctor that operated on her, and of course that blonde bitch that hired her. Not that she was complaining…she was paid well, she was given respect (well, as much respect a woman could get in America), and she was having fun at her job being crazy and setting people on fire. And in regards to the blonde, well she had a bit of fun 'thanking' her for getting her out of prison…even though she didn't swing that way, it was still fun. She could've sworn that Rachel (she thinks her name was), had done this with straight women before…

Anyway, she was always quick to dress up lest Spy would be around to catch her with her figurative and literal pants down. She took off her dress and high-heels, revealing a slender hourglass-shaped body that hid unlimited amounts of wiry strength; her bust was just the right size—not too big and not too small. She looked around, and made sure nobody was watching before she put on the tight bra around her chest…then she put on the latex wetsuit to further hide her identity before she put on her baggy asbestos suit. Next thing to come on was her rubber gloves and boots, and then her oxygen tank hooked up to her gas mask. With that done, her disguise was complete…and just in time too, because she was hearing Heavy walking down the hallway yelling over his damn sandwich. Last thing she needed was for someone to walk in on her changing that was not the Medic.

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><p><em><strong>AN: I hope you enjoyed, and that you'll review. As usual, your reviews will determine if I should continue this or not. And to those of you who are going to bash me on something as insignificant as to my belief on the Pyro's gender, again please refer to Ezekiel 25:17 in your bible.**_

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><p><em><strong>Songs used<strong>_

"_**Ninetailed Demon Fox" by Toshiro Masuda from "Naruto"—Rachel seeing Mulan**_

"_**Sexy" by Toshiro Masuda from "Naruto"—Mulan changing**_

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><p><em><strong>Vocabulary<strong>_

"_**Ni hui bu hui shuo yingwen?"—this is Mandarin for "Can you speak English?"**_

"_**Wo hui shuo yingwen…ni weishenme wen wo?"—Mandarin for "I speak English…why are you asking?"**_

_**Huo Mulan—a play on Hua Mulan, a character in a Chinese poem. Yes, that's the very same Mulan that Disney made a movie on.**_


	2. Shooter

_**A/N: After a bit of deliberation, I decided to do a character that comes from the Land Down Under, where I heard that the beer does flow and the men chunder. I was having a hard time trying to picture how he got hired, but I figured; what the hell? I'll work it out. Do read and review would you kindly?**_

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><p>Somewhere in Australia…<p>

It was disappointing really; of all the places Rachel didn't want to go, Australia was definitely at the top of the list. Make no mistake, she didn't have a problem with Saxton Hale; she had a fling with him once or twice when he was not fawning over Helen, that lucky chain-smoking old hag…it's just that thanks to that bloody Australium, having a moustache was fashionable for women around here. That and she really didn't enjoy the heat around here much unless it's in the winter time. But one of her targets lived here, and she'd much rather get this over with sooner than later before she pulled out that small-calibre machine pistol she kept in her purse upon hearing any racist jokes directed her way due to her very much British ancestry.

As she drove through the dirt road, she took note of all the beautiful spots in the Land Down Under. According to her contact here, the target lived in a camper and loved to travel…given the apparent condemnation from his father, Rachel found that she couldn't blame him for his choice of transportation and living quarters. Once she found herself parking in front of a Land Rover Pickup, she knew she had arrived. It was there that she found her query, sitting on a foldable pool chair with his hat in front of his face, apparently asleep. Next to him was a folding table that had three folding stools surrounding it, and on the tabletop was a pair of ballistic sunglasses. This was a professional?

Rachel rolled her eyes, and started walking towards the query, dossier in hand in the event that her information was incorrect. Her stilettos were having a bit of a hard time keeping balance on the dirt road. "Mr. Richard Mundy I presume?"

"Yeah, that's me. Is there something you want to see me about miss?"

She nodded her head slightly in approval…he may not look professional, but he at least had the manners of one. "Yes, I have come to you with a job proposal."

Richard took the hat off his face, and looked at her with a bit of interest in his eyes. "You have a job for me?"

"We have heard of your work here in these parts…to be honest, I find your craft to be a real work of art."

"Yeah, well, it gets food on the table."

It was here that Rachel noted a tone in his voice…as if he'd heard that line before. "Your previous contractors have hired your services as a freelancer. What if we could hire you on a more permanent basis?"

"And what may I ask that you are willing to get me aside from the pay?"

Oh, she recognized that tone all right…it was then that she pulled up the dossier just as he was putting the hat back on his face. "It says here you've quit on several of your jobs…they were steady, very reasonable salaries. A hit here, a bodyguard job there, and all on some bloody idiot that made some random Mafioso angry. Not even a challenge, not even from your job as a tracker. What if I tell you that you will be getting a challenge by working for us?"

"What sort of challenge do you have on mind?"

"You seem to be bored of shooting people through the head and they are unable retaliate; it's so easy even a monkey could do it. Instead of simply targeting people incapable of defending themselves, why don't you work where the there is always the thrill of putting your life on the line? Where there is a chance that your targets could shoot back?"

"And why would I even work that way? It's stupid and unprofessional."

The look of determination in her eyes was quite clear…she was not going to give up. "You miss the old war days don't you Mr. Mundy? Why else would you continue a bloody job where you shoot people? You have an itchy trigger-finger for that trusty sniper-rifle of yours…and you're bored because you haven't found anyone to shoot that gave you a challenge. You're bored to death Mr. Mundy, and with this job offer we are presenting you, we are providing you with challenging work; it's out of doors, and I guarantee you won't go hungry."

Upon hearing mention of his days in the army, Richard began thinking back on everything…he was paid fairly enough, he had his share of close shaves, even a moment of anger management in his jobs. What more could he want? And then he realized, all this time, he was trying to live in the glory days of the war…shooting those bloody Japanese soldiers when they made landfall on his beautiful home of Australia. The more he thought on it the more he realized, that this pom was actually right…he _**was**_ in fact dying of boredom, which was exactly the reason why none of his jobs satisfied him; they were all too bloody easy! Sure, they all paid well, but the fact of the matter is he quit a lot of them simply because he was bored!

"And how do I know you'll deliver on that excitement you promised me, miss…"

"You may call me Rachel…London, born and raised."

"East Side I suppose?"

A questioning look was in Rachel's eyes upon hearing that. "Yes, how did you know?"

"You may have made yourself professional, but I can still hear a hint of the Cockney twang in your voice."

"Very observant…well, what says you to the job?"

"Who am I shooting?"

"You'll be placed in a team with eight other mercenaries…serving as their sniper. In short, you'll be shooting anyone on the other team."

"Is there anything else I ought to know?"

"You'll be granted permanent residency in America, and you'll be paid by the hour…and a bonus for each headshot you make."

Permanent residency in America and an hourly pay rate? Now there's a thought! And in addition, he'll be having fun shooting people who could very well shoot him back. He's practically being paid to have fun; there's also the fact that he'll be far away from that whacker of a father of his! No more being in the house and listening to him shout, "IT'S THE CRAZED GUNMAN AGAIN!" or even, "So, how's life as a disgraceful killer?" All things considered, his answer was clear:

"I'll do it…but you'll have to bring my camper over."

"That can be arranged."

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><p>Gravel Pit, unknown date and time…<p>

A BLU Heavy was sitting down on a crate in the lull of the fighting…there was no Medic around, and he had just gotten bruised from skinning a Scout alive for trying to take him on with that pitiful little bat of his while he had his trusty minigun. Ha! Such a baby! The control point at the Radar was being held by the BLU Team, and this Heavy would make sure it stayed that way, along with the Engineer and his toys. As he looked upon himself, the Heavy saw that nobody was coming. Aside from the sound of the turret scanning for threats, it was boring…and it was also quiet…too quiet…eh, but what the hell? Now was the time to eat! And he had just the thing to hit the spot…it was a nice, juicy sandwich…just itching for him to…

"Hey, you mind sparing me some of that sandwich of yours?" The Engineer looked at his partner with an irritated look on his face.

Oh he's not going to live very long…especially since he was interrupted mid-bite. "Da, you can have my sandvich…IF YOU CAN PRY FROM COLD, DEAD-"

No sooner than he said it, a loud bang filled the air. The Heavy was frozen in place with his face open-mouthed with a look of rage before he could finish his sentence…he was killed in the middle of his tirade, as a bullet penetrated from the back of his head, tore up his brain, and left from the roof of his mouth. The Engineer immediately pulled out a pistol and began shooting back…only to meet the same fate as his partner when the second 'bang' sounded off, and a high-caliber round penetrated his head.

From across the way, Richard Mundy looked down upon his prey. "Back to the drawing board genius!" It was another close call! The adrenaline rush of being shot at…the moment he got to see the look of horror on the Engineer's face as he was gunned down with that single headshot…he liked it! He wanted more! But for now, he had a job to do. "Spy, the area's clear. Move yer bloody arse, and help Scout capture the Radar."

Well, that's one control point he helped take over…now all they needed was to capture the Radio Tower, and they'll be done for the day…

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><p><em><strong>AN: And that concludes it for how the Sniper was hired…next up, and upon request, we're looking at a civilian who claims to be a Soldier…**_

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><p><em><strong>Songs used<strong>_

"_**Chimeric Feast" by Masaharu Iwata from "Soul Calibur IV"—Speaking with Richard Mundy**_

"_**Main Theme" by Valve Studio Orchestra from "Team Fortress 2"—Mundy dominates**_

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><p><em><strong>Vocabulary:<strong>_

_**None**_


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